- Life lessons from drinking the koolaid
- Let’s compare burpees to real life problems
- The symbolism behind inanimate objects such as the barbell
It’s rather funny when a topic hits you like a freight train and the words just seem to flow so easily. You would never know it’s coming, and at the same time you can’t run from it. Which is why I am choosing to share this.
To be honest, I haven’t felt compelled to write lately. I’m a very strange place emotionally and undergoing many, many life changes. I try to keep this blog as light hearted as possible, so I don’t tend to write when something IRL unrelated to fitness/health/being outdoors-y is bothering me. However, as I was driving home tonight, something hit me. Here comes the word vomit.
There aren’t many things that can truly break you down in life. At that same point, there are even fewer things that can break you down and then build you back up — stronger, more stable and more confident in who you are as a person.
It started as a normal day. A typical Thursday. I had a wonderful at 8-4 at work, per usual, and was heading right to CrossFit. FYI —I hadn’t been to a real WOD in 2 weeks, which is completely out of the norm for me. As I was driving home from the office things started to take a turn— ‘of course’ I thought. One. thing. after. another.
The universe really wants to be noticed lately, and who am I to tell the universe what it can and can’t do.
One thing led to another and the next thing I knew I was crying in the parking lot of my CrossFit gym — 20 minutes late to class.
It’s truly hard to be strong when the world seems to be telling you no at every turn. I was sitting in my car ready to just call it a night. But then, I had a gut feeling that I should still go to class. So, without thinking, I grabbed my oly’s, took a deep breath and walked through the doors to the gym.
…..3.2.1… GO. I was picked up the bar and started the WOD. It wasn’t an easy one —Far from it actually. What WOD is though? Some day you feel stronger than others. Today was not one of those days. I was struggling by the end of the first round and to be honest wasn’t sure how I could do 4 more.
I wanted to quit. I wanted to stop. I felt numb, I felt broken, I felt defeated. I felt weak.
The feeling was all too familiar.
But you know what?
Just as I always do. Just as I always have.
The competition WOD last winter made me feel like I was letting my team down. I felt defeated.
14.4 made me feel inadequate. And may have been the first and only WOD I’ve actually cried in.
This WOD made me feel like I literally could not go any farther. I was weak.
But you know what all of those WODs have in common? I finished them all.
No matter how weak, defeated, emotionally/physically/mentally beat down I was — I finished. It’s not until a few hours/days after that you really look back and think ‘wow, I didn’t give up.’ No matter how many times my mind is telling me to quit, I don’t. And I won’t.
CrossFit breaks me at my core. It makes me feel more raw, more helpless and more exposed than I have ever felt in my life. It doesn’t care if I had a bad day. Doesn’t care how I’m feeling. CrossFit is the great equalizer. Let’s be honest. It kicks everyone’s ass. But, after it’s done making me feel vulnerable and weak, it makes me feel strong, confident and more sure of myself than ever.
CrossFit breaks me down. And then it builds me up.
If I can get through those WODS, I can get through this. Because when it comes down to it, it’s not about barbells and burpees.
It’s about mental strength, a fighter’s heart and having the courage to know that you can do this — one rep… or one step at a time.